Twenty years ago when XXXchurch first made an appearance on the scene we were, for all intents and purposes, one of the first and most well-known organizations out there openly talking about sex addiction and porn use… especially in the church world.
There really wasn’t anybody else to be honest.
Back then we believed the reason porn was such a problem came down to two primary factors.
First, there was a general lack of awareness. In other words, people just didn’t know the truth about the prevalence of porn use and its negative impact on society.
Second, there was a lack of quality resources.
So through our websites, programs, and various different initiatives we set out to solve these matters. By and large, we were successful with our attempts.
- We made people aware of the dangers of pornography.
- We offered resources to help people with their recovery.
And along the way others followed suit.
As a result of these collective efforts, I’d say things have definitely changed.
Today there is a general awareness of “the problem” even if we don’t want to acknowledge it.
Today there are many quality resources available to help people.
Yet porn consumption and sexual brokenness are still major problems in our world and in our churches. In other words, things haven’t gotten much better. Which leads me to ask this,
What did we miss?
The answer to that question I believe is that the real problem isn’t a lack of awareness and/or resources. It’s the fact that today, twenty years later, we as a culture and especially in the church haven’t gotten a whole lot better at talking about the topics of sex, porn, and masturbation.
And why?
Because we don’t really know how to engage in these conversations without inducing shame or embarrassment.
Think about it.
Even if you know talking about your sexual struggles, questions, or frustrations is the healthiest thing you can do, there are still many fears and uncertainties that come along with discussing these things with another person.
Most of these concerns come down to one thing; a fear of rejection or condemnation which strikes at the core of our personal shame issues.
After all…
- How do you tell a friend about your sexual struggles if you don’t know who to trust or how they will react to your honesty?
- How do you share your sexual frustrations or challenges with your spouse if you fear that doing so is just going to make you look like a “sexually needy pervert?”
- How do you invite your children into an honest conversation about sex, masturbation, and porn without being honest yourself and risk looking like a hypocrite?
All fair questions, admittedly.
But the truth is if you refuse to indulge the shame and discomfort that attaches itself to these topics, many of these fears and concerns fade away. They in essence become irrelevant.
Why do I share this with you?
Because we want to do something to help people like you, so they are better prepared to talk about sex and sexuality without shame and embarrassment. Not only that, we want to show you that these conversations can be extremely healthy and life-giving rather than awkward and uncomfortable.
This September we are hosting a FREE 3-hour online live workshop experience called Shameless: Normalizing the Sex and Porn Conversation.
This event is open to all individuals and groups and will feature four teaching segments, leader led breakout discussions, live chat, and more.
Whether you are a man, woman, teen, or church leader, we invite you to join us for this candid and fresh conversation on matters many avoid out of discomfort. This interactive online experience will challenge and inspire you, leaving you better prepared for these sensitive discussions within your friendships, churches, marriages, and families.
For more information or to register yourself and/or your group visit www.shamelessevent.com.
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